How to Nail Goals and Why Resolutions Work

New Year’s Resolutions

Joeaux: Good morning. Oh, my gosh, it’s such a beautiful day here. There’s my friend, Marilyn.

Marilyn: Hi.

Joeaux: My business partner.

Marilyn: I’m walking, too.

Joeaux: She came out for a walk with me.

Marilyn: No. I came out for a walk. You just happened to be going at the same time.

Joeaux: Okay. What she said. So, yesterday, I was talking a little bit about New Year’s resolutions, and I noticed that there’s a lot of companies that offer things around New Year’s resolutions, like get to the gym and lose weight beginning January 1st, and get your financial checkup. Even I offered a 30-day challenge to nail down your life purpose. I was also reading about people posting on how New Year’s resolutions are just a way to disappoint yourself and people are just trying to sell you things. I thought about that because of course I’d love for you to take my program and I’d love to be able to work with you in that regard, but that’s not why I created the program. That’s not why I want to talk about New Year’s resolutions.

I want to talk about New Year’s resolutions, because did you know that only 8% of the people who have a New Year’s resolution achieve their goal? That means that 92% of the people who set a New Year’s resolution do not achieve it. I don’t think that has to do with the New Year’s resolution. I think that has a lot more to do with goal setting because you can do a resolution at any time of the year. It doesn’t have to be on New Year’s. It’s just that New Year’s is the natural ebb and flow cycle of the planet. It’s when planet Earth starts again around the sun, 56 million miles later, nearly 365 days.

Marilyn: On New Year’s Day, it starts?

Joeaux: No, it starts just before then. It’s the natural flow for starting something new, which creates a perfect environment for a New Year’s resolution or a goal-setting. I think the issue is in conscious goal setting we often think there’s a goal, something that we want to achieve or do. But the truth is if you wanted to do it, you would do it. So, there may be something that says, “Oh, I want to lose 10 or 15 pounds this year, or I want to save more money this year, or I want to grow my business by 50% this year.” Those are all good goals, because they’re what I call smart goals. They’re measurable, and they’re achievable. The challenge is you have to search for yourself to see why you want to do it. You’re pretty good at goal setting, Marilyn.

Conscious Goal Setting

Marilyn: I am, yes, I am good at goal setting, but my goals are a bit different than your goals. In goal setting, what happens is we get so caught up in setting the goal that we forget that there’s a step that you have to take, and that step may require you to do some action. That step may say, “Okay, pay attention to your checking account.” That may be to balance your checking account or at least look at it.

When people set those goals what happens is they start with a great bang and keep it focused. However, they don’t continue it. It’s really because they don’t think enough of themselves to invest the time or money or whatever it takes to continue something. I’ve probably had seven gym memberships in my life. I don’t like going to the gym. It’s not who I am. I think it’s a matter of setting a goal that is measurable, setting a goal that you want to achieve.

What is Your Why?

Ask yourself why is that important to you? When you have the why then start making a list of your action steps and what it’s going to take to achieve that goal. So many times I think we just move around and say we want to achieve a goal, but we don’t do anything about that other than feel depressed because we didn’t achieve it.

Joeaux: Yeah. I think, the point that many people who were saying, “Why set New Year’s resolutions?” was trying to make, is that you set it and you’re disappointed. And, again, I don’t think it’s the problem of the goal setting or the resolution, but I think it’s your why. Ask yourself, look at your goals, make a list of your goals and then look at each goal. This is really for those of you who either did not set a goal because you’re just tired of not meeting your New Year’s resolutions or you set a goal and it’s January 5th and you’ve already stopped doing it.

Set Meaningful Goals

I am a goal action-oriented person. I like to set goals. It’s what brings me joy, setting goals and meeting goals and setting goals and meeting goals. I don’t think it’s about the goal as much as it is about setting a really meaningful goal. I’ll give you an example. I used to be a runner, a marathon runner, and I wanted to qualify for Boston. I had run 6 marathons at that point, and I was always off by 20, 25 minutes for my age group to qualify for Boston. Well, I was coming up on another decade birthday, and I was so excited because when I hit that decade birthday, my time for being able to qualify for the marathon was going to go up. So, I might have a chance now at meeting the goal, and then my training partners dropped out, so I didn’t have anybody to train with. I started training for the next marathon, and I found that I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to get out and run.

What I realized at that moment was that it wasn’t the goal of qualifying for the Boston Marathon, because that’s not what I loved about my training. What I loved about my training was running with somebody. So, my goal should have been to find a new training partner that also wanted to qualify for the Boston Marathon. But you get it, right? You have to ask yourself why. And in that search of why I didn’t meet the goal, I realized that it wasn’t about the running, and it wasn’t really about qualifying for Boston. It was about having a friend who had the same goal, it was the camaraderie of training together and somebody who also wanted to do the same thing.

Go Back to Your Goals

So, I would look at your goals if you’ve already dropped off from them, if you’ve already given up on them, and you’re feeling a little down and out because once again, you didn’t meet your New Year’s resolution. Go back to your goals. You don’t have to start a goal on New Year’s. You can start at any time. Go back to your goals and look at them and ask five times, “Why? Why do I want this goal?” And when you get an answer, ask again, “Well, why is that important?” Keep going until you realize why you want the goal. Is it for you? Is it for somebody else? Is it because you have a belief system that thinks you should be a certain way? Ask yourself why.

Marilyn: Namaste, y’all.

Joeaux: Namaste. Thanks for listening. I’ll talk to you later.

 

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